This parenthood thing is serious business. You start thinking about it in your mid to late thirties. “Maybe we should have a kid.” If you’re like us, being in your late thirties, early forties, things might not have happened the way you thought they would. Maybe you had a few failed pregnancies, maybe things took a little longer than expected and suddenly two years passed. Then perhaps there were two or more babies instead of your anticipated one.

What I’m saying is, it is a comforting thing to think about, having a child or children. They can be very cute, smell good, have strong energy. Maybe they’ll even give you a second thought when you’re old and need an advocate. Maybe they will cry at your funeral. But it isn’t as if they will raise themselves. They aren’t going to show up able to communicate, feed themselves, use the toilet by themselves, clean or dress themselves. You will have to do and teach them to do all of these things. A good deal of work. Worth it? Some say yes, some aren’t so sure. But you asked for them. And you got them.

I just want to be clear, YOU WILL WORK. I don’t believe I have ever worked so hard at anything in my entire life as I do right now, maintaining the health and contentment of my sweet girls, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every single freakin’ day. A majority of the days seem like my hard work is paying off. They are well disposed young ladies with good senses of humor and a great deal of trust in me and their father. So far. I am going to assume it is because I bust my arse every day to make them feel secure and loved and protected and well-fed and clean panted.

It isn’t like before I had kids. My life, that is. Which is a given. I used to run amok doing whatever the hell I wanted to do, drinking whatever, smoking, livin’ it up all hours of the night. Pursuing whatever fancy I fancied. I got all kinds of sleep, watched movie after movie, ate out all the time. Took trips to far-away places, painted, made music, shot lots of video, worked a regular full time job.

Alls I’m saying is, don’t think it is all cuteness and sweet smelling. There are larger rewards, but you’re still going to have to do all the grunt labor. This is coming from someone whose favorite people in the universe are her children. They are perfect and perfectly human.

Get back to work you lazy bum.

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