Medium strength

An early incarnation of the octopus piece.
An early incarnation of the octopus piece.

I stopped myself at medium strength fruity vodka drink #2 this evening. I could have mixed myself a third, but you and I both know what would come of that little indulgence. No need to completely ruin alcohol for myself! I don’t get to have it every day, though I usually want some every day. In the olden days, when the girls were extra challenging and I was completely sleep deprived, I would dream about cocktails — no, CRAVE cocktails in the morning. Didn’t act on the craving, but still, it was there. And I would have enjoyed it. Except for the fact that alcohol makes me sleepy and, well, the other thing… the nobody likes a drunk mommy thing. At least not one who is responsible for infant twins. Shit, I wouldn’t like that kind of mommy either. Hence, my need to be satisfied with the thought of booze left at that.

I came up with yet another name for a band… Glycerine Tear… good, right? I looked at Beenie’s cheek the other day, as she wailed about one of the numerous injustices in the house and the world, and she produced one, huge, perfect glycerine-looking tear. Just like in the movies. Maybe Mimi and Beenie’s band should be called Glycerine Tear. That band RULES!

Sent off two more job applications yesterday. Somehow filling out the info online makes it way less hideous than filling out an application, pen on paper then handing it to someone, but at least that way you know someone will probably look at it. When you send an online application, who the hell knows where it goes or who sees it, if anyone. But I much prefer not dealing with humans at the application point in the job process. No need for that.

I went to the bank today, which used to be Provident Bank but was recently purchased by M&T Bank, to close my business checking account. Sort of a sad gesture but also a relief. I got a whopping $55.66 in cash from the proverbial scraping of the bowl. I just don’t do enough freelance work lately to warrant a business checking account. I remember when I opened that account. Boy did I feel like a grown-up with my own bitness! The salad days. The Internet bubble had semi-burst but I was doing pretty well and figured I’d do better if I tried to pick up my own clients. God. That sounds funny now. I love talking with people in the outside world about work. Paid work. I remember. I don’t miss having a job too much since I hate office work and the whole culture. The fun part of having a freelance business was that I shared an “office” with good friend, Kate, and just had the most wonderful time. Lots of walking around outside to get coffees, lots of working on my own projects, art and otherwise. Hmmmm… maybe that’s why I stopped making much money? Too much fun? Why can’t work be fun?

Managed to hit the painting studio for an hour and a half late this afternoon. Discovered my large Camera Morte painting is warping. It is painted on a plywood panel, which is framed, so I’m not sure why. The space is incredibly damp, so that is most likely a factor. I’m glad I didn’t buy a bunch of the panels. Maybe I should save canvas for the larger pieces. I wonder how I will flatten this painting? It is amazing how much one can accomplish when there is little time. Worked on the octopus painting commission, which does not seem to have warped. It is almost complete after it dries then gets a once over of highlight colors and perhaps a touch more of the glossy layer. Underwatery.


  1. Paint a giant X on the back of the panel in Gesso, from corner to corner. That’s what I learned in art school while painting on wood and masonite panels. It has always worked for me.

  2. the octopus is looking lovely! very excited to see it in person. even more excited to see you and your family next week!! hugs!!

  3. Don’t you understand the connection between Camera Morte and the damaged canvas… the images from the camera are affecting all that they touch! Didn’t the first batch of books come out wrong, blame it on Morte!

  4. Love this bit about being nostalgic for freelance when it worked…I feel the same. I also closed the business accounts. And let the URL expire. And haven’t gotten new business cards with the new address. Because I’m trying to keep it real, and it ain’t real to pretend I’m still working 60+ hours a month on client projects.

    Mmmm. Work was fun, wasn’t it? Except when it was full time in an office. Actually, even that had its moments…

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