Why, my darling daughter, do you cry? Is it the horrible containment of your diaper underneath a swimming diaper that makes you weep? I’m sorry, but you must wear something on your bottom when you take (or don’t) a nap — if you don’t, you may pee all over your crib just like you did the day before yesterday, when your dada walked into your bedroom to find everything you were wearing the night before on the floor and your bed covered in urine. Even your budgie/bahtze (fuzzy favorite blanket) and your baba (fuzzy white favorite bunny) were soaked.
And still, you scream. I put you in bed an hour and a half ago, fed, bottled, changed. All of the pieces were in place for you to drift off into naptime. Which you usually like. Even your sweet sister, Beenie managed to doze off, despite your howls. I’ve checked in on you, changed your wet diaper twice, even brought you two supplemental small bottles in hopes you’d sleep. But no. Still you cry and cry. I gave you a squirt of Tylenol in case there was some kind of pain you couldn’t express. I’ve held you, kissed you, rubbed your little back.
Is it the large piece of bright blue sidewalk chalk you were gnawing on during this morning’s playgroup that is now making you miserable? The box said it was non-toxic, whatever that means. If it was made in China, maybe it has melamine milk powder sprinkled in it that is making you so sad. I should do a little research. I know you can’t help eating chalk, but I did ask you to stop, and nobody else felt the need to join you in your chalky snack. But you ignored me. I took it away, but was I too late? Should I be worried about this?
Oh great, now Slinky the cat is hacking up a hairball. And some fucker is making muffler noise outside. Mimi, will you not be napping today? If you don’t, I fear we will all be quite sad. I’m already feeling sad just thinking about it. Please go to sleep. Please, Mimi. Or I won’t be able to clean up the sand that has taken over the downstairs due to heavy sandbox usage this morning. And then we will all be lost in a huge sand dune in the living room… Please go to sleep…