Yeah, that’s right. Watch out! I was informed this morning as I shoe-horned my daughters into the car to go to school, I’m a double space hog. It didn’t seem that way when I parked on my street yesterday afternoon, when there were almost no other cars parked, but apparently it became a fact by the time someone wrote me a note (above) late last night or early this morning. I wonder who has time to write a note for a parked car… Shit, I can barely get the two people I’m responsible for from our car to the house, which is usually not more than a twenty foot distance. I wish I had time to write notes for people’s cars. It isn’t as if I drove over the sidewalk and stopped on someone’s front lawn, then poured myself onto their lawn drunk and passed out in my own vomit. Somehow, over the course of the day, when the street went from virtually empty of parked cars to the usual jam-packed by the end of the night, my car was left with a space in front of or behind it, and that warranted someone saying something.
Thanks for your courteous note, asking me not to take up two parking spaces. Were you watching me from your window all day, noticing how cars were pulling in and pulling out of the finite areas in front of our row houses? Do you think our cars should be able to tuck into line behind and in front of one another the way our row houses do? The houses stay in the same place, day in, day out, but the cars, they come and go. As do the people on our block. Well, everyone but you, who sits quietly in your house, watching to see if the most efficient use of street space is being observed. Which car is yours? The minute you notice if too much space has opened up in front of your parked car, do you run outside and scooch it up a few feet? Probably. I was wondering, since you’re paying so much attention to this situation, the impossibly impossible parking situation on our street, if you would mind coming by, giving me a friendly heads up that I could be doing a better job, making enough room for as many cars to be jammed in a row as possible, in front of our houses. Or you could even give me a ring. Whatever is easiest for you. Leaving a note on my car window seems like too much work. You didn’t even have time to write out the word “PLEASE”.
J. the hot MILF double space hog