I know what’s keeping me up tonight. As I lay in bed, eyes open, mind racing, it occurred to me the moon was going to be full soon… when? Got up, 1 a.m. Today of course! Or rather, this evening. I feel it. Can you feel the moon?
Sent myself the following email from work today, during what was quite possibly the dumbest discussion betwixt two people possible.
not interesting = the discussion re: printers and toner that is happening across the hall. it has lasted over 10 minutes. between two people who i’m guessing are making decent salaries. is this the kind of banal chit chat that is required to be a part of the office working world?
From what I remember of my past lives working in a variety of different kinds of offices, YES. Hmmm. This doesn’t bode well for the next fifteen or twenty years of my life, when I will be required — barring some kind of miracle, allowing me to travel, write, paint and make silly art videos for a living — to do such officey things to pay mortgages and fund two growing girls. Is this really what my future holds? Yes, its better than sitting home, depressed because I can’t be around grown-ups or make money. I acknowledge this. And am grateful for the perfect part time employment situation the universe has sent me. But shit. WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT TONER!? It is true, toddlers are vastly more interesting than middle aged schmucks. Sigh. I suspected it all along, but had to leave toddlerland to see it for what it really is… Valhalla. Still enjoying wearing dress-ups in public, tho. My work costumes. Work makes me love my daughters even more than I normally do.
Tomorrow morning around 9 my next-door neighbor’s daughter, recent college grad, is watching the girls till around 1:30, while I go into the office. I know my work is coming between us, blog, old friend. I know I’m spending more time living my life than complaining about it. Don’t worry, I’m still full of complaints. And joys. All of it. Now where’s my goddam one million dollar check?!