Cold Turkey

Today, for the first time since they were born, I put the girls in bed for their naps without having given them a bottle. That’s right. I’m finally ready to give it up. Mimi has her thumb, and considering the huge melon shaped belly on her front, she was good and full. So was Beenie, but she didn’t give in so easily. There was a good fifteen to twenty minutes of outrage. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NO BOTTLE?! I felt bad. What’s the big deal, anyway? I don’t have control issues with the bottles and actually think they should be able to drink on ’em at least until they’re two. Who cares? Not me. But the pediatrician and all the books have all kinds of crap to say about it. Shit, I HAVEN’T GIVEN MY BOTTLE UP YET! Why should they? It is so sweet how much comfort they have with their bottles. Beenie has her little routine. She goes upstairs, runs into their bedroom, grabs two pillows and puts them on the floor. She lies down with her special small flannel blanket with a tag that has a Gerber baby face on it– it MUST have a tag. Then I give her her green bottle and Mimi her pink bottle full of soy milk and water, change both their diapers, give them kisses and stroke their hair, then plop them in bed without much fanfare. We’ve probably been going through this particular routine for a year now.

I know that’s mostly why Beenie was so upset. She is assuredly a creature of habit and demands things go as they should, no matter what they are. I guess we just need to establish some new nap/nighttime rituals so she can still count on certain things to lead her into nighty-night land. Mimi is good with her purple blanket and thumb, so I didn’t hear anything from her when I put her in bed.

It all sort of breaks my heart. They are growing up so fast. I know all mothers have this realization, throughout their children’s childhood and into their adulthood. So I’m having my moment now. They used to be less than a fifth of their current huge sizes. They now speak, sometimes in language I understand. They do things for themselves. All is as it should be. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

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