I could hear the ice dropping onto the skylight in our bathroom last night. Ice pellets. Not such good stuff to drive or walk on, but glimmery to the eye, staccato to the ear.
It’s gray again. All day gray. It’s hard to make one differ from the next when the weather is always kind of the same. Too cold to go outside, which is all my darlings want to do. I wonder what’s it’s like from their perspectives. A is desperate for some kind of change. She puts on her little jacket in hopes we’ll open up that front door and take a stroll to the park so she can run around. B likes change also, but differently. She likes a quick change, but is usually excited to come home too, unlike her sister. You put those girls in the car for a little drive somewhere, and A belts out a shriek of glee. OH LOOK! WE ARE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT! B is along for the ride, but you get past 20 or so minutes of driving and she’s ready to get out and stretch her monkey legs.
I have high hopes for next winter. A and B will be talking and able to tell me very specifically what they want and don’t want. They do this now to a certain extent. They are actually quite communicative and I get most of what they throw out at me. But sometimes there are tantrums that I cannot disseminate. This is the frustration of this age I suppose. They know what they want, and can tell you in a variety of ways, but not for everything. And this is the situation where everyone gets pissed off and there is lots of screaming. The coming months should offer some relief also, in terms of being able to get out of the house without too much fanfare. The Maryland Zoo re-opens again next month, so when the days begin to warm, that’s the kind of thing we can go do a few times a week since it is about a five minute drive from our house.
The zoo is pretty cool and a little bit run down. The run down part is sad, but it also reminds us we’re still in Baltimore, hon. And Baltimore is a city of contradictions. The extreme wealth and abject poverty exist sometimes within blocks of one another. Terrible public schools (with the exception of a few) but incredible private schools. There seems to be a continuing debate in the city by people just like us: do we move over the city/county line so our kids can go to a good, free public school? Or do we stick it out in the city and try to figure out which public schools would be safe and acceptable for our children? I’m too tired at the moment to contemplate, but a decision must be made in the next few years. I just need to get through the rest of the day without going nutso. The ladies are napping, perhaps I should follow their lead.