I did it. It took me 2.5 years, but I finally did it. What? WHAT, you may ask… I took my daughters to the mall. I should have started this post by stating that I hate going to the mall. Any mall. I don’t like shopping unless I have a gift certificate for someplace specific, or an event I need to get clothing or shoes for. Not much of a browser, me. But after a week of being cooped up in the house all day, every day because of the sheet of ice covering Baltimore combined with large snots flying out of Beenie’s nose, I woke up this morning and said to myself, THE MALL. The muthaf-ing mall. “Girls,” I said, “let’s get in the car.” And we did. They were so excited to do something, anything else, it was a breeze to get their shoes and socks and jackets on. They were easy to put in their car seats. We were all on board with not being in the house again today. I brought a single stroller just in case, but didn’t end up getting it out of the trunk once we got there.
The first stop was Starfuckers for a soy latte. Met up with old pal Gayle and her little boy the same age as Mimi and Beenie, Alexander. The ladies requested to sit on high stools at a eating/drinking bar facing out of the coffee shop, where they nibbled an organic pop-tart and drank watery juice, fully engaged in the antics of a slightly older, maybe 5 year-old boy. The lady next to us seemed to think he was doing some kind of break dancing. Whatever he was up to, it was definitely for the girls entertainment. He kept coming up to the window and looked at them as he threw himself in dangerous contortions on the hard marble floor in front of the store.
After nibbling lots of cookies and some lemon cake, we all got up and walked. We walked and people watched, investigated well-dressed, headless mannequins, escalators. Beenie was eager for the first time to get on an escalator, which is a recent occurrence. Mimi still wanted me to carry her on the moving alligator. We wandered to the LUSH store that recently opened there. Very expensive, beautiful soap. The ladies picked out weird little devil pig baby bath fizz cakes which were around $2/each, so I got them each one — I figured I could steal one and they could use one in a bath. Even though I had wanted some soap, it was so very expensive I ended up getting a little lip balm to add to my incredibly huge collection. Why? I didn’t need it!
After LUSH, we went for food at the food court. I got a very barely mediocre grilled chicken sammich and the girls inhaled waffle fries with Alexander and Beenie enjoyed the chicken nuggets I got for the table. When we finished, I somehow got the girls back to the car and home. They are now upstairs napping.
Gayle did this mall stuff with Alexander back when they were all babies, but I just couldn’t bear to do it. They were on such different schedules and were so much to handle by myself as infants. Inevitably Mimi would be howling and I didn’t want to bring that into the public sector. But now my toddlers are very outing-friendly. Who knew? It really did take up until just about now to do this sort of thing with them without one or both of them taking off in different directions, making me crazy. It is all sidewalks, no streets, the mall. No cars to mow my darling daughters down. I can suffer for a few hours here and there if I get my fancy coffee and snacks. It is a small price to pay to get out of the crazy house for a bit.
Another pleasant tid-bit for your reading pleasure… Beenie, after months of pretending she didn’t know how to use the potty after months of using the potty, suddenly decided that she’d give it another try. This past Saturday, in the middle of a little dinner gathering at our house, she made the statement she wanted to use the potty. And that was that. Maybe things in the bathroom realm are looking up, too!
20 Fingers, 20 Toes 
this is why people love the mall in upstate ny too. no snow or slush, no maniac drivers, places to eat and sit and pee, climate controlled. so you gotta deal with a little mind control while you’re at it, but isn’t it worth it for an occasional break from the house when the temperatures nosedive? just make sure to keep yourself and the girls well-hydrated. somehow the mall sucks every ounce of moisture out of my system and that’s when the crazytime really starts. you’ll think you need fried things from the food court or some nike sneakers but really all you need is a glass of water.
and just fyi, you DID need that lip balm. you did.
“I woke up this morning and said to myself, THE MALL. The muthaf-ing mall. “Girls,” I said, “let’s get in the car.”
LOL!!!!
Ah, the needed scourge that is the mall. Like you, I can’t stand them. Like you, I found a serious anxiety-free time with small one at the mall. In fact, from the time he could walk well to the time I moved away from the land of malls, we would go every Tuesday morning. He would run with wild abandon in the empty mall. I would follow. No cars, no concrete, no trash cans, no dirt. And I would get a snacky snack. I may not believe in malls, but I like babies in malls.
Glad you got out of the house.